I was one of three girls in a full shop class in 8th grade, and the shop teacher was a good ol’ boy who spent a lot of time policing the boys around us ‘ladies.’ Now I realize I’m making him sound a bit sexist, and he probably was, but he came across like a stern yet approachable Dad figure, so it worked. Anyway, I… » 4/22/15 7:52pm 4/22/15 7:52pm

This is exactly why I always argued that Captain Jack Sparrow should never be a main character. When you are privy to everything from his perspective, you lose the unpredictability, mystery, and the chaotic nature of the character. He only works because he's predictably unpredictable, and he was never meant to be a… » 4/06/15 9:31pm 4/06/15 9:31pm

My Dear Emerson had possibly the most miserable childhood trying to take care of bipolar, widowed, obese and ill mom and schizophrenic sister, and it taught him empathy, I think. I worry sometimes that my fibro will be a problem, one day. That he will treat me the way my dad treats my mom sometimes (runs away, fishes… » 3/05/15 8:31pm 3/05/15 8:31pm

Instead of reading these things through, I've been reading the Fifty Shades of Abuse recaps on Wordpress. It's the only way to win — I now know precisely what shittily written scenes have people so enthralled, I have a deeper understanding of the cycle of abuse, and I now understand explicitly why my students' love… » 2/12/15 11:46pm 2/12/15 11:46pm

I was giving Drew Lachey a massage pre-Dancing With The Stars performance, and Joey Fatone tiptoed in, held his finger to his lips with an evil grin, and grabbed Drew's ass as he lay there on the table, face down. Obviously he wanted to make Drew think it was me. I guess by then Drew was pretty down with Joey's… » 1/31/15 11:56pm 1/31/15 11:56pm

Meh, keep your Stiltons. My customers want X-14. (If you get this joke, I love you. Seriously, that book is prescient about things that should not be possible. Global Standard Deity will be a thing next, just wait and see.) » 1/08/15 12:07am 1/08/15 12:07am

(Practicing my consolation speech to Mr. Sparks, ahem.) Well, Nicky, it's a shame to say it, but clearly you were from too different worlds. You were just born on the wrong side of the tracks. And sure, she was yearning for excitement and romance but you have your fun and then it ends. Because you just can't reconcile… » 1/06/15 3:25pm 1/06/15 3:25pm

I cannot wait to see this film this week...and yet, I know I have to prepare myself for the inevitable: people who will speak reverently of Dr. King's bravery in the face of bad people and oppression, and then point out how those protestors these days are just troublemakers and are making things worse and should just… » 12/30/14 1:02am 12/30/14 1:02am